Numb/Dumb/De-Arranged.

FALL back.
calling out names,
names that dont recall,
fragments of life,
so long lead.
secret hushes,
claiming feelings,
dreams of a dreaded reality.
living within the realms,
of neon lighted cemetery,
lunar glow,
effervescence,
of the burnt,dried blood.
i find myself stuck,
stuck....
the penthouse,
rusted with the abandoned ghosts,
of our selfish love,
decaying each hour,
as im leading myself,
back to the den,
where i was unwanted.
a bread crumb,
lies awake,
small...fragile,
the withering smell,
of your body..of our fingers,
co-joined,cajoled love,
floats,disappears.
the stale breath,
the sewer underneath,
im a part of this world.
the selfish,hapless world,
faltering..to its deceased self.
fall back,
succumb,
smelter my heart..
i will wander,
wander...away..
the latches on my door,
will be kept open,
my hypocrite self,
will beg no more.
i will wander,
the streets wont care any less.
the shit overflows,
even now,
nothing has changed,
the stinking breath of our parlour,
odorize the fragments,
of my memories.
the wall still creaks,
and the lost man,
will still vomit..
his deranged self,
will lash the girl,
and her cries will still make him laugh.
the canned crap..
stale..
the roses...
decay... .colour lost,
a straitjacket wont help me,
the lunatic has left,
dancing naked,
baking himself in the glares
of the society.
your flesh,
made of serene jealousy,
i donot care about,anymore.
the bitter and hard,
lovemaking,the corrosion of our senses,
tears...copulate,
and you leave.
hopeless fucks jump,
straight into the pit,
anatomy of seized loneliness,
seizes them.
the sirens wails,
i cant sleep.
you sleep,
the ducks of your fairyland,
seize you,
fuck you,
your naked veins,
then bleed.
gastrocyanide,
i seek of.
dreams of a happy suicide,
dreams of a astral diarrhea,
dreams....i fade..
the shit overflows.
scream while masturbate,
scream while copulate,
your robe smells of my used body.
my body,
a tale of dirty birth,
a tale of morbid catastrophe,
the light in the room,
of the old woman,
in the apartment opposite,
slowly dims,
a wail,a cry..
the dogs howl.
fangs out.
a man..lost in his senses,
filled with chaotic mirth,
is seized by the dogs.
a hapless sight.
i think of you,
being seized by hands,
by my hands,
of some other..hands..
sinking hands...
sinking in your flesh.
the smell overflows and theres blood,
stained on the hands.
de-arranged you.
the letter you left.
ashes of wish i smoke.
flames of which i watch..
smoke of which i inhale..
im reeking of melancholy,
of your folly..
someone kills someone.
demented place..
demented me..


I call out to you.
call out.
the answering machine..
you are out,
somewhere..
somewhere..in those seedy alleys,
where you meet the needy,
greedy,
the hotel room stinks of your lust.
then..
you will leave.
to cry some more.
then..
you will wait,
for the ducks.
the fairytale ducks.
the fag dizzying your senses.
you will be led by them..
you will be gone.
I turn out the lights.
vomit out,
your name,
your smell..
pop a pill..
wait for the sleep to come,
shut down my tired system.
senses fail..
i fall apart..

de-arranged me.

Astral diarrhea

Patience,pain,
levering the cold,
numb feeling of
terror watching us.
satire,time in another shape,
another form,
sacred silence,
projections of another turmoil.
sinking feeling,
gravitation bygone,
surrender to the minions
of our desires.
astral diarrhea,
salvation of a seeker,
exhibition of devotion,
extremity of projectile
demolition.
pushing the boundaries,
elevation of the scars
adorning the body.
the creature lies asleep,
astral diarrhea,
cleansing the void,
of all the dust and grime..
awake,vomit
tender flesh of our saviour,
bleeding,blood gushing,
the memories are pushing,
the projections too far.
the never ending sonic static,
buzzing of soiled,humid air.
unwanted stimuli,
the hatred and the vices,
conjuring,awaking,
the hue of a pale stretch,
of auroras pathway.
the stench of mankind,
leverage of a kindled,
ignited stream of
unwanted consciousness .

High,low of the extreme end.
astral diarrhea,
downward goes the archways,
leading the solitudinal harrowed,
dimensions to a close end.
bits of the redemption,
falling by and by,
shattering of a boom,
a barrier disclosed.
polluted shelter,
images,pieces offered to our hungry souls,
are playing helter-skelter.
emotions flattering,
drunken with the worshipers,
lusting for the sweet taste
of the bitter blood.
astral diarrhea,
the pain,unbearable,
the postlude of our dream.
the dreams in the projections,
the astral projections.

Them.

Diminishing perfumed
existence,
staunch gruelling,
sessions of torture,
the guilty filled bodies,
behind the bodices,
the sweat evaporating,
through the pores,
large enough as holes,
while pursuing,
the sweet,
decaying scent,
of the hollowed,
burrowed existence!
shabby merchants of lust,
alone the woman lay
as if in rust,
lost and found,
behind the stark,
bold facades of the skyline.
why does the stigmata
on her scarred body,
lay unseen?
why does the girl's cry
lay unwanted,
to the unshaved,
drunk figure?
the perversion,
of the customers mind,
the tired fragile bodies,
lies awake,
to dizzy lights,
of this phantom society..

-S.S.S(26.9.09)

Gas-Filled Brain!

Gas filled brain,
And the uncertain rain,
Interposition of my,
Useless self,
Gastrocynide,
Medicine for my,
Absent self!
Impulsive compulsions,
raking in the sleep,
Popping in the pills,
for another,
dreamless sleep!
Screaming blurs,
Of the television..
Saintlike faces..
expressions devoid,
the clown faced,
room..stinking...
Stale coffee..
Gastrocynide,
Medicine for my,
absent brain!!
Nerves failing,
Guns falling,
Dylan blaring,
Machine hating,
Fascist killing,
Voices whirl,
Inside my head!
Red,blue..
Red,blue and green..
Black...
The molotov cocktail,
Flies..
Dousing in pain..
Fucked up pain..
Gastrocynide!
Medicine for,
Ending it all,
In no pain!

-S.S.s(19/09/09)